You Have Died of Dysentery - Unisex Hoodie Size:M Curved light blue text along

Curved light blue text along the bottom reads "IT ISN'T URANUS

Korben Dallas survived combat missions across the galaxy

Inspired by Return of the Jedi

Takashi's only qualifications are a tiny red tricycle and a blood alcohol level that defies medical science

acknowledging that surviving December requires the same energy as a Slayer mosh pit

You Have Died of Dysentery - Unisex Hoodie Size:M Curved light blue text alongOregon Trail taught an entire generation that manifest destiny ends not with a bang but with violent diarrhea, announced in the same calm green font as a math quiz. Every elder millennial's real history education fits on a floppy disk and a tombstone. The Details: Green monochrome pixel art depicts an ox hitched to a covered wagon, rendered in blocky 8 bit style mimicking an Apple II green phosphor display. A bordered rectangle below contains